MAMA ( MATERNAL UNCLE ) IN KASHMIRI SOCIETY AND HOKH SEUN OR DRY VEGETABLES

                                                       

                                                     

  

                                                                

                                                         

MAMA OR MATERNAL UNCLE IN KASHMIRI CULTURE... 

                                                                             

As children, I don't know why we used to sing: “Sheena Pyeto Pyeto, Maama Iytto Iytto ” meaning ‘O snow, keep falling. O Mama (our mother’s brother), visit this way .’

Mother’s brother is known as Mama in this subcontinent. Mama has a very important role in the upbringing of the children of his sister. Not always does he financially support their upbringing but yes the emotional chord of the children with their Mama is so strong that sometimes it outflows and overlaps the father’s role. This applies to Kashmiris as well. You have a marriage, birth, happiness or any gloom in the family, Mama is there to stand and offer more than his share of support.

Crushed under the burden of poverty coupled with the joint family system that existed in Kashmir, a woman had little time to attend to her own children. Quite often, a married woman would send her children to her parental home for a change. When the annual examinations were over, children felt free to demand parental time and attention; but such a thing was rarely possible in joint families. A mother had no time to attend to them for she was never free from the daily chores. At this time, a message went to Mama to come over and take the children to their Nani’s ( maternal grandmother’s ) house.

Mama was the person who was there to take care of children's fancies. He would bring new clothes, take them to the Bazaar and give them time and attention to cheer them up. I remember most of the children telling their mothers in olden days :

‘Maam kar Iyee . Me chhu matammal gatchhun ’

‘When is Mama coming? I have to go to his house .’

Mama’s mention lies in Kashmiri folk songs also. We have a popular folk song wherein a mother sings a lullaby to the infant saying:

“Maam laal oyei tai diyiyo dilaaas , paartho gilaas kulinai tal ”

‘Your Mama shall come and put courage in you my baby Let me dress you up under a cherry tree .’

When Kashmiris quarrel they say :

‘Tse Kyaa Maam Chhukhaa ’

 ‘ Hey shut up! you are not my Mama ‘

I also heard many Punjabis saying:

‘Tu ki Mama lagdhaa hai ’

‘ Don't think yourself to be my Mama and take liberties ’

 In a Maharashtrian marriage, Gurihar Puja is an important ritual. During this puja of goddess Parvati, the bride is made to wear traditional wedding attire gifted to her by Mama or maternal uncle.

I quote two   popular lullabys in Kashmiri Pandit household ;

"Rama Ji , Rama Ji

Nikas laaesanum Mama Ji

Rama Ji , Rama Ji

Billus laaesnum Mama Ji

( O Lord Rama! O Lord Rama!

Keep this baby's Mama /maternal uncle

Under your protective care.

O Lord Rama! O Lord Rama!

May this blue-eyed baby's Mama/ maternal uncle

live long.)

'Kaaw karaan taav taav
Goburra laalus moal aav
Kaaw karaan taav taav
Khaana-maalis maam aav.'

( There that  crow makes  noise,
For sure, my child,
Your father will arrive home today.
The crow makes the noise again,
Lo, there comes my
darling' s maternal uncle or Mama)

Well, known Kashmiri poet, Dina Nath Nadim wrote:-

"Ghaam pyath yechkaaley vothmut

 Treil heith zun maam hue

 Assi wattan ruut ghaam hue "

(As if Mama has come from the village after a long time,

 bringing with him *Treil.

 This country of ours is like a beautiful village .)

In a Kashmiri pandit family, Mama had a crucial role during the marriage of his nephew or niece. It was he who sat by his niece during her marriage ceremony. It was again he who received the wife of his nephew from her parents home through a window. Along with his wife, he was also there for the sacred bath or ‘Kanya shraan ’ of his nephews.

Whenever Mama would come, for the children it meant happiness and fun. If Mama had a bicycle, the nephews would steal a ride. A parting gift from Mama would also be a fifty Paisa or a rupee coin thrust in the pocket of the nephew or niece. A new shirt, a new shoe, fruits, biscuits, candies and so many other gifts . would travel to children from their Mama without even asking for the same.

At the onset of the winter season, a Mama would also come to his sister’s house bringing with him a bag full of dry vegetables and fish for the winter season. The bag always had fish, brinjals, tomatoes, gourds, turnips, and many other vegetables all sun-dried for consumption during the winter season. That added to the respect and dignity of his sister in her in law’s house. A smiling sister would always come up to the door to see him off. It was a moment to hug him, bless him and say:-

 ‘ Guss moojood roz .Ivaan assizeh. Mey chhai rozaan kal ’

‘Go, May you live long ! Keep Coming. I keep waiting for your visits ’

 Where have the Mamas and those children gone?

( Avtar Mota )

PS

 (1)

 In Kashmir, sun-dried vegetables and fish continue to be sold in plenty during winter season even when the fresh vegetable supply is received almost daily from plains. Kashmiri Pandits have also not abandoned them. Many shops in Jammu and Delhi sell this stuff. I have seen even the younger generation enjoying the dry vegetables cooked in the family. The tradition has been beautifully carried down by our ladies

 (2)

Treil is a small-sized apple and late autumn fruit of Kashmir

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Based on a work at http:\\autarmota.blogspot.com\.