“ THREE
BY SIX "
“ I believe you are
from Kashmir . I have seen you coming to
this park for the last one week
or so . Probably, you come after 7 PM .
Is it so ?”
“Yes I am a Kashmiri
. I come after 7 P.M . That is my time .
I have no work but I am very busy. When
I lived in kashmir , I did
almost everything myself and yet I was always free . That
time, I did not think about anything and then I had not to wait . With advancing age, men like me start waiting and thinking and they
become very busy . ”
“ What do you think and what for have you to
wait ? “
“ I keep going back to find out where I went
wrong in my life . I seek reasons for this punishment and separation . Add to that
, I keep opening my
Photo Album and spend some time
with it . Every photograph forces
me to think and I
keep thinking .You know every photograph opens so many floodgates of nostalgia
and once opened ,
these doors or gates need to be
closed as well .
Here in our colony , Nobody knows me . Nobody has any interest in people like me . For them I am
like a piece of dry wood , or a lifeless
stone or a piece of broken and useless
plastic . In these New Colonies , Nobody except the watch and ward staff likes goodwill
to be invested . What can you draw at
the time of need if there is no investment ?
. I mean investment of time and Goodwill. So nobody interacts even with
his next door neighbor . Under these circumstances , I have also learnt to talk , smile
and weep alone . Now let me say
about my waiting.
Every morning , I wait for my turn to take a shower . I wait for my turn to read the
Newspaper . I wait for the Tea in the morning. I wait for my grand children to come from school so that we have
our Lunch together . I wait for them to
finish their school work . Thereafter ,
I wait till they fall asleep .
I wait for my son and daughter in law to come from office to have my evening
tea. I wait for months for some relation or old well wisher to drop in.”
“ And what about Your wife . Is she alive ?”
“ She is very much
alive like me. She is presently at Ahemdabad looking after the new born baby of my daughter
. My daughter
and Son in law are both employed. In old age , Our existence and engagements depend upon openings that get Created in the households of our children . In these Openings or Vacancies we are
direly needed and sought after . If there is no vacancy it implies no work and No work means No Utility . But Nature is great engager . It keeps creating openings and
work for us . Currently my vacancy is at my son’s place and that of my wife at my daughter’s house. I
can teach children and transfer knowledge.
I help them to do their home work. I help them to have their
Lunch and i make them sleep
thereafter for at least two hours . My wife is experienced in changing baby
diapers. She is good at Feeding milk to infants and cooking food . So currently she has a utility .You get my
point. ”
“ Myself Bansi Lal Dhar. I am retired Principal. My son
and his wife are in Dubai. I went there
once for 2 weeks but some how I don’t like Dubai . And then
it is very hot. I have decided to live
with my daughter here in Gurgaon .
”
“I have heard
everything is air conditioned in Dubai .
I mean the Buildings , Malls , Buses and
offices. Does heat still create unpleasantness
over there ?”
“ Come , Sit here
with me on this bench . I will tell you
all. There is no need to hide anything now that we are friends . You see , As human beings, We face many types of Heat . Heat
from the sun, Heat from the Machines or Electric appliances
and intolerable high temperature created by living in
Joint families . The last heat actually
kills your peace of mind . You get my
point . And then My daughter in law’s parents are living there helping them in
taking care of my Grandson. So lovely
baby. Miss him . ”
“ What about your
wife ?”
“ My wife died three years back . My
son in law is a Software Engineer . He has recently purchased a three
room flat. I have one independent room for myself . My son in law has put one TV set
with Dish connection in my room. So I am
busy with TV serials, News and other programs . My
room has additional independent access from outside . I can come in or go out
without disturbing others. My room has
an attached Bath cum Toilet and a
small Balcony . My daughter is married
to a Maharashtrian boy. Very gentle .
His parents live in USA with his younger Brother . So there is no problem for me over
here. We have a full time maid in the house . She cooks food for us and also
takes care of my one year old grand child. My daughter is employed
in a Multinational Software company. Presently she is associated with some
project . So currently , She works
from Home . That way she is almost in
the house for the full day . So I have no worry or problem . ”
“Myself Bushan Lal
Three by Six.”
“ What ? ”
“ Three By Six ”
“ What is this Three by Six ?”
“ Three
by Six is my new Surname . Are you surprised ? Let me clarify . It is the size
of the bed upon which I spend my time in
the present house . Three by six is my world or my current space
in the two room flat that my son owns . You see
Bansi Lal Ji , one room is
used by my son as his bed room ; So
forget about that room. Now remains only
one 10 feet by 12 feet room .I along with my grand children sleep in this 10 by 12 feet
room . If there is a guest in the
house , he is also made comfortable in
this room. My grand children use it as their study room
. And Underneath this three by six feet bed ,lies the suitcase that has my clothes , Medicines and an old photo Album. Now I am in love with this three by six feet bed . If your space is defined , you start getting used to it however small
or troublesome it may be. And once you get used to something, You resist moving
away from it or I should say you resist change . ”
“ Are You comfortable
in this little space ? ”
“ What is comfort and discomfort I don’t know
because I don’t live. I pass time. And when you pass time , there is no line that differentiates between comfort and
discomfort . To live in this world , one
needs to have Freedom of choice. If you don’t have this freedom, you simply
pass time. By this logic, most of us
simply pass time . Bansi lal ji , I have yet to come across a person who is living
. They may be busy or idle ; They may
be eating well or hungry , sleeping well or suffering from wakefulness
, spending lavishly or living miserly and earning
enough money or not earning at
all yet I find that all of them are not living . They are simply passing time
. They don’t know why they exist .You get my point .Yes sometimes in my sleep I
feel a little comfortable when I see myself in the Dewan- Khan ( Guest Room ) or kaaenee ( Top Floor ) or the Dubb ( Attic ) of my house in Srinagar
. But that is a world of dreams . The
moment I open my eyes , this three by six bed is
the reality . ”
“ Where did you live in Kashmir ?
Which Mohalla ? What is actual your family’s surname ?
“ I am from kaarpora Khushki Rainawari . Khushki means dry or patch of land distant from water . In Rainawari , We had kaarpora Aabi as well . Aabi means damp or a patch of land
close to water .There in
Rainawari , I was known as Bushan Lal Tabardaar Saakin e Kaarpora Khushki. Saakin means resident of or residing at . You must
be knowing these Urdu or Persian words like Khushki, Aabi, Tabar( Axe ) and Saakin etc. etc. Here it is
neither Aabi nor Khushki and you will make yourself a buffoon if you say
you are a Tabardaar ( A wood cutter or a
man holding an axe ) . It is simply Three by Six .”
“ Three By Six ! Present surname ! I don’t get you .
Never heard anybody having such a strange surname ; How can it be a surname ? ”
“ I have adopted it .
This is my New identity . I have nothing to do with my old surname . It gives
me nothing except embarrassment . My
father would say the popular Persian phrase
“ Dard e Dandaan Ikhraji Dandaan ”.This
means if the tooth gives pain , Better get it extracted. Is everybody happy
with his Surname? Many would like to change it at the first choice if it were
so easy . I mean the kashmiri society in particular and their strange Surnames . Three
by six is better than surnames like Mandloo
( Buttocks ) , Zaaroo
( A Gambler ) , Zoroo ( Deaf ) , Thaal-Tsoor
( A man who steals plates ), Thaploo ( Snatcher ) , Gagroo ( Rat ), Braroo (
Cat ) ,Punzoo ( Monkey) , Khar ( Donkey ), Shawl ( jackal ), Kaaw ( Crow ) , Wangnoo (
Brinjal) , Mujoo ( Radish ) , Kakroo ( Cock ) Sharabi ( Alcoholic )and many more that we have. Do I look like a bird or an
animal or a vegetable ? Do I look like a
thief
or a snatcher ? Then tell me why
should I any such surname ; Somebody has to bell the cat for a change .
Let it be me . I will gladly do it. ”
“ Bushan Lal ji you
are being selective in listing Surnames . We have other surnames also like
Kachru , Shangloo , Khosa , Langoo ,
Wangu and many more . “
“ I will explain about Kachru
( A Man with brown hair ), Shangloo ( A man with six fingers ),
Wangu ( A man with bent legs ), Khosa (
A hairless person ) and Langoo ( A Limp )
. You can dye your hair and kachru can have black hair with
modern science . Every Shangloo can be treated by Orthopedic surgeon . Khosa
will no more be a khosa if he visits a
skin specialist . Langoo can be set right by orthopedic surgery or artificial limbs. After
all these surnames were linked with our profession or how we looked or placed ourselves in that old social set up or how people ridiculed or made fun of each other . Now
the entire social fabric has undergone a radical change . So let us forget all
these surnames .
Coming to kashmiri society in particular
, A nickname became a surname gradually. Can you realize How rigid surnames
have been in the past ? Even after so many centuries , A WAZA
( cook ) remained a WAZA by surname
or a WATTAL ( Sweeper )
remained a WATTAL by
surname even when they were High
Profile Civil servants or headed
as CEOs of some Big Companies .”
“What surnames should
we adopt then ? ”
“ We should adopt
newer surnames which are relevant in
present milieu . We have a variety now. We have so much of choice now. Why not
Surnames like DUPLEX , 3BHK, 2BHK, 1 BHK , INDICA, CHEVROLET , HYUNDAI , YOGA , ACCUPRESSURE
, BP, ALLERGY , NURSING HOME , CLINIC , AYURVEDA , MEDICAL INSURANCE , DEBIT CARD ,
CREDIT CARD , PHYSIOTHERAPY , SHOWER , JACUZZI, SPA , JAIMAALA , RING CEREMONY, DJ , DANCE, FOOD STALL, BUFFET,
,TILE , MARBLE
, DAWAT BASMATI, LAL QILA RICE ,KIWI , STRAWBERRY
, CAKE ,
MULTIGRAIN , PIZZA ,
BROCCOLI , MUSHROOM, CHOCOLATE , SUNDAE , BURGER
, FAST FOOD , LAWN, LOBBY, PORCH, MICROWAVE , DISH WASHER AQUA GUARD, CHIMNEY , AIR CONDITIONER , HOUSING
LOAN , CAR LOAN , DESKTOP ,LAPTOP, PEN
DRIVE, DVD, HARD-DISC , MOTHER-BOARD ,ANTI-VIRUS
,ONLINE , OFFLINE , SERVICE CENTRE, SHOPPING MALL , LIFT , HERBAL ,
ORGANIC, COURIER , SPEED POST ,
AMAZON, FLIPKART, SHARE MARKET , MUTUAL FUND , ONLINE TRADING , CHIVAS REGAL, BLACK LABEL, PETER SCOT, BEER , SODA , LEMONADE , COKE , THREE TIER , TWO TIER , METRO , PASSPORT , VISA , FLIGHT etc. etc. ?
And I believe every society is bound to adopt these surnames now or
later. Those who were forced to migrate out
of Kashmir valley in 1990 under
the shadow of gun get additional choice of surnames like GEETA BHAWAN , QUEUE , CAMP PURKHOO, CAMP JHIRI ,CAMP MISHRIWALA ,CAMP MUTHI , CAMP JAGTI , CAMP NAGROTA, CAMP BATTAL BALIAN
, CAMP MUTHI , CAMP BAPU
DHAM DELHI ,CAMP MOTI NAGAR DELHI , CAMP HAUZ RANI DELHI ,CAMP PALIKA BAZAR DELHI , CAMP BALJEET NAGAR DELHI , GAS CONNECTION, SCHOOL ADMISSION , APPLICATION , SANCTION , REJECTION , AFFIDAVIT
, AGREEMENT , POWER OF ATTORNEY ,TENT, SNAKE BITE , DIABTESE , DEPRESSION , HEATSTROKE , RELIEF , NON RELIEF , FORM D , STATE SUBJECT , RATION CARD , VOTER LIST ,
ACCOUNT TRANSFER , BANK LOCKER, DAILY EXCELSIOR , SRO , DISPLACED , MAHARASHTRA AND ASHRAM . We are more familiar with these words , activities and things now . These have become a part of our existence . What is the problem in using them as our Surnames
?. “
“How can such things become a surname ?”
“ You are mistaken
then. We have done it in the past and probably people have forgotten it. Tell
me what is PYALAA ( Cup ) , GADWAA ( The Jug ), MOZA ( A
pair of Socks ) , DULLU ( A Big Pot ) and CHONCHAA ( A handle used in
kitchen ) , WAKHLU ( small stone mortar
used in kitchen ) ACHKAN ( A long coat ). That is why I say I am happy if I am known as Bushan Lal Three by
six .”
“You mean your children
shall also adopt this surname .”
“ Children
are masters of their will. Nothing can be forced upon them . Not even
care and affection . They feel it as an
act of control and command. We have love
and emotion to deliver while
they have logic and utility in their minds . It is a mismatch . You get
my point . My Children and grandchildren are at liberty to move from TABARDAAR to THREE BY SIX. I can only confirm about myself. I have already said that so many persons would willingly change their surnames if it was a simple
affair .”
“ What is so special
about three by six ?”
“ Three by six is simple , straight and the final measurement of minimum needed space
by an individual under all situations ; But
I fear , with the passage of time, Three by six may shorten temporarily to
Thirty six . ”
“ THIRTY SIX !
GREAT ! Thirty Six is a great
idea Bushan Lal ji . Kashmir’s Shaiv Darshana has 36
Tattvas that define the creation
and the physical reality. Thirty six is
also a sacred number for Jews. A GREAT connect ! “
“I don’t follow what you say. Then Chinese
relish Dried fish ( Hogaad of kashmiris ) , Lotus roots ( Nadru of
kashmiris ) , Collard Greens ( Haak of
kashmiris ) and many more things that kashmiris eat ; Is there a GREAT connect with Chinese also ? Coincidence does
not establish anything. I don’t know anything about Shaivism . I am not interested in any connection between kashmiris
and Jews . Leave this aside , My optimism makes me to believe that this Thirty Six may
not stay permanently with us . After
prolonged usage , Word thirty Six may further shorten to “THIRSTY
”. And that should be a welcome thing
for us. When it happens, we may have so many
persons with “ THIRSTY ‘ as their surname .
Many people will adopt it
instantly . Thereafter , Names as Ashok
Kumar “ Thirsty “ or Ashok “Thirsty “
or some Elder with Ganga Sagar “ Thirsty “ or Ganga “ Thirsty “ as his name shall be very common . Doesn’t word THIRSTY
give a feel and a purpose
. And as exiles from Kashmir , We have been stressed to
remain thirsty for truthful empathy
and genuine attention . So , Why dislike THREE BY SIX that may
finally settle at THIRSTY . ”
“ THIRSTY is again Great idea Bushan lal ji . It conveys poetic pain . Doesn’t it look like a poet’s name ? For
world at large , Our progeny will
be deemed poets merely by using this Surname.”
“At this stage of life , I have no interest in Poetry or Poets . Merely
by calling himself a poet , No man is
absolved of his basic responsibilities
in life. Merely by writing poetry , He
can not shut his eyes towards basic issues of existence. I don’t look at it that way . Yes this world is going to be thirsty very
shortly. This is something that is going to happen under
all circumstances. We have done nothing to forestall it. We can’t avoid it nowOur rivers, wells, Oceans , streams and
lakes are all polluted . Everywhere this
drinking water is getting
costlier than Milk or Food . . We may shortly
ration drinking water. Human population
, Animals and Plants shall
be engulfed by this word THIRSTY . So Thirsty
shall be a surname of future . Take my word .”
“ I
agree . Yes this word THIRSTY has the
potential of Global Surname . It can give any person a Global identity . Say after
fifty years , Here you will have Sanjay “Thirsty “ while in Europe , You will find “ Robert Thirsty “. The world will come closer. This surname has flexibility so it will have adaptability and universal
acceptability . While I agree with all that you say , I some
how tend to differ with something like a
social withdrawal that you seem to be
conveying even when you live in
your own son’s family presently . ”
“
What Social withdrawal ? Say social reality .The size of the shoe is known
only after wearing it not merely by
looking at it. You get me Bansi Lal Ji “
Bushan
Lal Three by six and Bansi Lal Dhar started meeting regularly after that . They
had come to know everything about each other . A
friendship created by compulsions of passing similar Phase or time slot may not
be constructive or lasting . It may be devoid of Compatibility of minds yet the
very sharing of time and space is bound to result in some connect however unfastened it may be .Intellectual
compatibility may not matter
in such liaisons .It is like two unknown travelers of varied backgrounds ,
varied levels of education and exposure sharing a train compartment .
Bushan
Lal Three by six would leave the park exactly at 8.30 PM while Bansi lal Dhar would
stay upto 9.00 PM. Bansi lal Dhar had understood that Bushan lal Three by Six had no interest in literature , TV Serials or Current News . Other than that he had nothing to discuss. For
both of them, Sitting together even in silence was also a get-together and
communication. A handshake , a smile and then sitting on the bench and then thinking about some common issue to be brought
to discussion. Rarely they could find
one. That is how their friendship moved ahead.
And
then something unusual happened . For some
successive days Bansi lal Dhar did not turn up. Bushan lal Three By
six felt worried.
He decided to speak to him on his
mobile.
“
Is everything fine Bansi Lal ji ? I didn’t see you in the park for the last one
week .”
“
Yes . I have some problem. Actually my daughter and son in law are moving to Australia
. My son in law has got an offer
from some overseas employer . My daughter is also moving with him just after 10
days . This flat they are putting on lease with some company along with
furniture and gadgets. My son in law has spoken to secretary and the President of the Flat owners society . They are prepared to accommodate me in a 10 by
12 room of the Society’s office but I will have to work as Honorary Accountant at the Society’s office. The
room has a small bath cum toilet attached to it. A Tiffin man will deliver
dinner and lunch. I need to prepare my breakfast . I need to buy a gas connection , some utensils , a small TV set ,Bedding and a three by six
folding cot. “
“ Folding cot
! Three by Six ! “
“
Yes Three By Six. Henceforth call me Bansi Lal Three by Six “
(
Autar Mota )
CHINAR SHADE by
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