EVENING VIEW OF BUND SRINAGAR
Tanhaai
Phir ko’ii aayaa, dil-e-zaar! nahiin, ko’ii nahin;
raah-rau hogaa, kahiin aur chalaa jaaegaa.
dhal chukii raat, bikharne lagaa taaron kaa ghubaar,
larkharaane lage aiwaanon mein khwaabiida charaagh,
so ga’ii raasta tak takke har ek rah guzaar;
ajnabi khaak ne dhundlaa diye qadmon ke suraagh.
gul karo shamein, barhaa do mai-o-meenaa-o-ayaagh,
apne be khwaab kivaaron ko muqaffal kar lo;
ab yahaan ko’ii nahiin, ko’ii nahin aayega!
(faiz ahmed faiz)
Solitude
Someone, finally, is here! No, unhappy heart, no one -
just a passerby on his way.
The night has surrendered
to clouds of scattered stars.
The lamps in the hall waver.
Having listened with longing for steps,
the roads too are fast asleep.
A strange dust has buried every footprint.
Blow out the lamps, break the glasses, erase
all memory of wine. Heart,
bolt forever your sleepless doors,
tell every dream that knocks to go away.
No one, now no one will ever return
( Translation Agha shahid Ali )
Tanhaai
Phir ko’ii aayaa, dil-e-zaar! nahiin, ko’ii nahin;
raah-rau hogaa, kahiin aur chalaa jaaegaa.
dhal chukii raat, bikharne lagaa taaron kaa ghubaar,
larkharaane lage aiwaanon mein khwaabiida charaagh,
so ga’ii raasta tak takke har ek rah guzaar;
ajnabi khaak ne dhundlaa diye qadmon ke suraagh.
gul karo shamein, barhaa do mai-o-meenaa-o-ayaagh,
apne be khwaab kivaaron ko muqaffal kar lo;
ab yahaan ko’ii nahiin, ko’ii nahin aayega!
(faiz ahmed faiz)
Solitude
Someone, finally, is here! No, unhappy heart, no one -
just a passerby on his way.
The night has surrendered
to clouds of scattered stars.
The lamps in the hall waver.
Having listened with longing for steps,
the roads too are fast asleep.
A strange dust has buried every footprint.
Blow out the lamps, break the glasses, erase
all memory of wine. Heart,
bolt forever your sleepless doors,
tell every dream that knocks to go away.
No one, now no one will ever return
( Translation Agha shahid Ali )
SOME CLAIFICATION ON THIS POEM
Aalok Aima
@Autar ji - is my understanding incorrect or is the translation by agha shahid ali wrong for the following lines:
gul karo shamein, barhaa do mai-o-meenaa-o-ayaagh,it is translated by him as:
gul karo shamein, barhaa do mai-o-meenaa-o-ayaagh,it is translated by him as:
..".Blow out the lamps, break the glasses, erase all memory of wine."
@Alok Ji
Firstly i sincerely thank you for the pointed reference .I have not changed a word of Shahid's translation . I also appreciate your keen observation.Surely you have gone through the poem two or ...three times.
Alok ji ,this poem remains one of the greatest poems conveying pain ,loneliness and lament .Every line spreads the magic of the central mood of the poem. The line in particular you are referring to
"Gul Karo Shamein , Badaa Do mayo Meena o ayaag ". The line does not convey
" Blow out the candle and bring wine "
The line conveys
" Put out the candle and move away the wine and the cups "
Move away and not" Bring this way "
Otherwise also faiz lived in europe , USA , Russia , France and West Asia after the infamous Rawalpindi conspiracy case. May be he developed western sensibilities to many such issues .Ordinarily in our societies , pain and lament is generally doused by inducing insensibilities or altering consciouness and sensibilities( wine is sym bolic ) , the poet's contention and intention is to live pain and lament . The poet is lonely in lament. He can not bring liquor . He can not sink in pain and lament . He wants to live it and rise above it . That is why Faiz says "Take way the liquor and cups. "
Shahid's purpose of translation was to present Faiz to west.By this description Shahid has done value addition to the poem by moving a little far when he says
" Break the glasses " To me ,this is the most appropriate and pointed translation in tune with the mood of the poem . This line that you have commented put me also in trouble when i attempted to translate this great poem.My translation is
" Put out the lights , Keep away the cups and the wine ."
I salute Shahid for his super translation .
Peace be to his soul.
Your own
autar Mota
Alok ji ,this poem remains one of the greatest poems conveying pain ,loneliness and lament .Every line spreads the magic of the central mood of the poem. The line in particular you are referring to
"Gul Karo Shamein , Badaa Do mayo Meena o ayaag ". The line does not convey
" Blow out the candle and bring wine "
The line conveys
" Put out the candle and move away the wine and the cups "
Move away and not" Bring this way "
Otherwise also faiz lived in europe , USA , Russia , France and West Asia after the infamous Rawalpindi conspiracy case. May be he developed western sensibilities to many such issues .Ordinarily in our societies , pain and lament is generally doused by inducing insensibilities or altering consciouness and sensibilities( wine is sym bolic ) , the poet's contention and intention is to live pain and lament . The poet is lonely in lament. He can not bring liquor . He can not sink in pain and lament . He wants to live it and rise above it . That is why Faiz says "Take way the liquor and cups. "
Shahid's purpose of translation was to present Faiz to west.By this description Shahid has done value addition to the poem by moving a little far when he says
" Break the glasses " To me ,this is the most appropriate and pointed translation in tune with the mood of the poem . This line that you have commented put me also in trouble when i attempted to translate this great poem.My translation is
" Put out the lights , Keep away the cups and the wine ."
I salute Shahid for his super translation .
Peace be to his soul.
Your own
autar Mota
CHINAR SHADE by Autarmota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
Based on a work at http:\\autarmota.blogspot.com\.
0 comments:
Post a Comment